Done
This is an FYI: I’m done.
I guess it started when I was in a Seattle coffee shop talking with Dad on the cell phone as he informed me that after a surprise trip to the emergency room, he was informed that he has diabetes. My grandmother had diabetes, which had already put me at risk. But now Dad has it, placing the risk far closer to home. Two generations away on one side was definitely more deniable than one on the other.
Then I guess it grew more pressing when my cousin Keith visited from Connecticut to see Mary Ann Hobbs and Kode9 live in San Francisco. I took him to my favorite Caribbean joint in the area — Back-A-Yard — and he ordered a salmon salad.
“That’s an interesting choice. I had assumed you’d get something like the curry goat or jerk chicken so you could have the rice and peas, fried plantain, and whatnot.”
“I eat pretty healthy now.”
“I got that. For how long?”
“Since the doctor ran my blood work and told me I was a couple of points away from being on high blood pressure medication for the rest of my goddamn life.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, my dad is on that stuff. And I see him eat whatever he wants and gain weight, steadily taking pills. I’m NOT going to end up like that.”
“I feel you,” I replied. I wasn’t eating then, but if I had been, I may have lost my appetite.
And I will acknowledge as a pre-existing and heretofore benign condition that more of my relatives are on cholesterol medication than I can count.
That’s why I’m saying it now so that everyone knows I said it. I’m done. I’m done living to eat.
Being black means I hit the genetic jackpot for increased risk of heart disease, hypertension, high cholesterol, and diabetes. Before a few week ago, I was also obese. Honestly, I sometimes feel I should include that in my genetic jackpot. I’m 33 years old, going on 55 and then the dirt. I can’t afford to live a carefree life when it comes to my diet without one foot in an early grave.
I remember what Keith said. “I’m NOT going to end up like that.” Me neither.
I’m 30 pounds down from the day I had that conversation with Keith. I’ll be beach-ready before the summer is out, but more so than that, I’ll have a lot more summers in front of me than I would have had before.
That’s all I’ll say about the health component of my weight loss. Then there is another reason entirely to slim down…
A Tale of Ones and Twos
As part of my “Run Forever” initiative, I’ve discovered plenty of things about running long distances.
The first was that running in Nikes around my neighborhood on my heels destroys my knees and ankles so STOP DOING THAT. I switched to running at the local track in Vibram Five Fingers. Then I found that nipples get awfully irritable on long runs when wearing cotton shirts. Now I tape my nipples. (As an aside, I was at first embarrassed to admit this, but when I independently confirmed it with two other male runners, I figured it would be more valuable to share it than to avoid looking bad.) Then I discovered inner-thigh chafing. Thank God for compression shorts (and I should probably look into BodyGlide). Then I got sick of wearing a sweatband around my ears to keep my earbuds from popping out when I started sweating and bought some Ironman earbuds. (Update: those are now starting to pop out too.)
You can learn a lot about something by doing it regularly. But sometimes it isn’t as easy as going to the store and knowing what to buy.
As much as I love the high that follows a good run, I need any help I can get when it comes to distracting myself as I am actually jogging. If I could leave my body and return when the run was done, I would do that. But the best I’ve come up with so far is to listening to energetic music as I run and then jogging in time with the beat; 154 beats per minute works best when running outside.
I needed an 80-minute long mix at a steady 154 BPM, and none my DJ friends responded to my request for a running mix. Being that this is my most scholarly year ever, it seemed like a good time to teach myself how to DJ.
I started with the Djay application for the iPad. It was great for learning the basics of beat-matching, and modern DJ software not only detects the BPM of your music, but it will also match the BPM of the upcoming song. However, songs can be detected at half- or double-time depending on the sparsity of the beats. Whether Kanye’s West’s “Power” was intended to be a 77 BPM song or a 154 BPM song is probably a question best answered by Kanye, but I pretend it’s 154 so I can jog to it. If my software thinks it’s 77 BPM and the next song is at 152 BPM, there will be no auto beat-matching.
Manual beat matching is difficult without physical controls. While Djay for iPad was a fun way to get started, I purchased the Numark Mixtrack USB DJ controller shortly thereafter and began to use the gimped but very capable Virtual DJ LE software to make my running mix. The result is this file that I’ve been using for several weeks now:
In addition to having a pretty good mix for running, I also managed to “backup DJ” a very large Game Developers Conference party last week. I almost didn’t bring my DJ setup because they had hired a DJ for that party, but it turns out that that DJ never showed up to relieve me. I was on the plates from about 9:45 PM until nearly 3:00 AM the following morning. DJing a large party was actually on my bucket list, and there had to have been upwards of 300 people in and out over the course of the evening.
Check.
What else I should do with this new amateur skill?
James Blake
So, there’s this artist named James Blake who — before his album, at least — I would have described as an atmospheric dubstep artist. Kenzo clued me into him with a simple, “Have you heard of James Blake? I like it. You should check it out.”
So I did check out the EP Klavierwerke, and I did like it. It wasn’t a chart topper or anything to write home about, but it was solid and enjoyable. I always need more music like that.
A few days ago, however, I got an email from Bleep.com, the legendary Warp Records‘ music store, which stated the following about his forthcoming album:
The most anticipated album in recent years, and thus becoming increasingly more difficult to separate opinion from hype these days. Regardless of the surrounding media circus, James Blake truly has created an incredible album.
A step away from his previously beat-led EPs on R&S and Hemlock, James Blake has created a sublime pop album that looks set to catapult him into the mainstream eye using non-mainstream techniques. An album where so many songs focus on the fragility of his voice, and build from there onwards. The use of repetition and loops of his vocals often structure and craft the melodies. With the exception of Limit to Your Love, there are no clear verse / chorus structures.
A remarkable album that has caused an unprecedented amount of interest from both the electronic and mainstream press in equal measure. Don’t believe the hype, judge for yourself…
Uhh .. really? I sent the link to Kenzo since he introduced me to the artist. “Hey, new album next week!” I also posted it on Facebook.
A few moments later, Kenzo chats me back with a link to the entire album on Grooveshark. This was my first time hearing anything at all from the album. Here it is:
Depending on the hour of the day, I may either describe this album as the second coming of Christ or “it will get you pregnant.” Anyone who knows how much of a music snob I am won’t take it lightly when I say this: this album has a legitimate shot at being the best thing I have ever heard.
I’m not sure what else to say about this except that it releases next Tuesday in the United States.
Initiative: Run Forever
The last of my four initiatives for 2011 is probably the simplest. I run forever. Forever running. Boundless energy, one foot in front of the other, or however it makes sense. 5K, 10K, half marathon, or whatever.
I run forever. That’s it.
Initiative: Most Scholarly Year Ever
The third of my four initiatives for 2011 is distinct from the others in that it leverages one of my innate abilities instead of stepping wildly outside of my tried and tested methods of dealing with my life. Somewhere in my childhood I decided that neither girls nor anyone else liked me, so I had better be the star student.
Though this has served me fairly well, there are areas where I have hardly leveraged my skill at study that would make me feel like *THE MAN*. So I figured, why not use something I do well to learn how to do things I’ve always wanted to know how to do?
2011 is the year that I read books and take courses to learn all those things that I’ve wanted to know how to do “forever.” This includes things like playing guitar, using Photoshop, producing with Ableton Live, motorcycle cornering confidence, etc. And yes, I’m aware that there are things I can only learn from practice. Let’s just say I’ll be armed with the necessary knowledge, so that will no longer be an excuse for anything.
Since there are so many things I want to know how to do, I’ve elected to start with activities on which I have already purchased books but never got around to reading. This includes iPhone application programming and Logic Studio production techniques. I do have specific goals in mind that correspond with this initiative, but the last thing I want to do is take the fun out of an initiative by becoming rigid about how it looks from day to day.
That bears saying again: my initiatives are distinct from resolutions in that there are no specific goals. I am instead honoring the spirit of who I am and what I’m up to in my life. When the year is over, I can look back on all the things I did to honor myself instead of hanging my head in shame over all the things that I said I would accomplish but didn’t.
It feels like playing in a cardboard box that can be a castle or a spaceship or whatever I want. I miss playing.
Initiative: Asianest Year Ever
Because you need to know this, my stanky leg is now very passable. It still needs more stank.
As I stated before, I have multiple initiatives for 2011: four to be exact. I thought it would be amusing to, while somehow managing to have my blackest year ever, have my Asianest year ever. Let me explain.
Living in Japan for two years and visiting over fifteen times afterwards might make me somewhat of an expert on Japanese culture in non-academic circles, but I don’t have much of a leg up when it comes to Chinese and Vietnamese culture. Those are far more prevalent in Silicon Valley than Japanese, and moreover I’m dating (another) Chinese girl. What would it look like to put Asian culture under the same cultural magnifying glass that I did my own? Meaning, if I were to look at those things that are stereotypically Asian, where could I take on developing myself this year? Here’s the list so far:
- playing ping pong
- cooking noodles
- going to karaoke
- playing Mahjongg (not solitaire, but the four player Gin rummy-esque game)
- celebrating lunar (Chinese) new year
- learning current Asian fashion trends
- learning Chinese (both Mandarin and Cantonese)
- reading manga
- making lots of Asian friends
The goal here isn’t to be a culture chameleon. I don’t take on anything in which I have no interest. However, there are lots of activities from which I distance myself for fear of judgment or performing below expectations. So instead, I come from “I am welcome everywhere,” and I am a willing participant in what life offers me. Currently life offers me a lot of Asian and not a lot of black.
I’m expecting a side effect of simultaneously having my blackest and Asianest year ever: to be an object of great curiosity to both cultures. I’ll be the brother who knows where the good dim sum is who’ll happily teach you how to play spades. The one who can be spotted at the hip hop club @ 11:30 PM and siew yei @ 2:00 AM.
siew yei – Cantonese term for a late night snack or meal
I’m off to a good start, having spent New Year’s exclusively in the company of Cantonese-speaking people after my first game of Mahjong in ages. Moreover, Vincy is highly amused at my selection of initiative. I didn’t expect her to be anything less than fully supportive, but her energy is waaay up over this.
And then there are still two more initiatives …
Initiative: Blackest Year Ever
A friend of mine held a party that I didn’t attend. It conflicted with my date night plans with Vincy for starters, but the theme behind the party also seemed a bit ridiculous to me. The party had required homework: list all your accomplishments in 2010 so that you can be acknowledged for them. Though we didn’t end up attending the party, Vincy suggested that we do the exercise.
Since Vincy was out of the country on a cruise for Christmas, I wrote my list alongside my parents. My list of accomplishments was only about twelve items long, and it was hard not to judge how little I could recall accomplishing in 2010. If I were to write a list of things I *WISH* I had accomplished instead, I’m certain it would have been way longer. Still, that wasn’t the point of the exercise.
Can’t help thinking forward, though. I don’t care for resolutions, but what would be fun for 2011?
With Vincy away on a cruise, I was spending most of my time with my parents which, among other things, meant that I was spending most of my time in the company of other black people. I don’t do that very often; I only have about 1.5 black friends in the area anyhow and only a handful of black associates. With only black people around, the environment both allows for and calls for things that it wouldn’t otherwise. For example, while Vincy found the stench of Mom’s pot of pork chitterlings unbearable even with the windows open, Dad and I could easily bide and joke about the smell. “Woo, them guts are talking!” Dad said with a laugh. Yes, they were talking — talking shit!
I texted one of my 1.5 local black friends shortly afterwards. “We cookin chitlins! I know you’re a vegetarian, but I had to tell somebody.”
“Open the window!” was his response. He got it.
My first initiative for 2011 was pretty much born around that exchange. 2011 is “my blackest year ever.” Of course you want to know what that means, and to be honest, I’m still figuring it out myself.
The idea is this: what things exemplify black culture (even stereotypically) to which I exhibit a very faint or nonexistent connection? Moreover, of those, which would be cool practice or master? Here’s the list so far:
- playing basketball
- frying chicken
- singing well
- dancing well
- playing Spades
- listening to the radio
- learning current fashion trends
- trying alcoholic beverages that black people sing/rap about
- playing dominoes
The list could be longer, but that’s already a lot of things to take on. Hell I was just talking with a friend about all the dance moves I’m going to have to learn (Chicago stepping, the dougie, the stanky leg, etc.) and all the songs with which I’ll have to make peace (“Cha Cha Slide,” “Cupid Shuffle,” etc.). And that’s not even my only initiative for 2011.
But still, this list is a good place to start, and it’s likely to expand far beyond my current thinking. It’s already shaping the decisions I’ve made this year, and it’s pretty fun. Every time I say, “It’s my blackest year ever,” everyone smiles. That includes me.
